


Unopened Windows

by cardiac_arrest



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst ?, M/M, jake goes to the canes and mo is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 04:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21009512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardiac_arrest/pseuds/cardiac_arrest
Summary: “Keep him,” Jake had said over facetime when Morgan asked about the puma, that familiar crooked smile on his face.“Psh, yeah, like I’d let you take Uma,” Morgan had retorted back, trying to keep a semblance of normality. But he remembers, his insides had been twisting, heart panging. He wanted to reach through the screen and pull Jake to the other side, back to Toronto, where he belongs.





	Unopened Windows

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. this is unedited *upside down smiley face*  
2\. prompted on tumblr by: Mo struggling on the team without Jake vs Jake thriving in the Hurricanes (go where u want with it )  
3\. i think uma the puma was a thing but i cant be completely sure oh well im not going to fact check whoops

Morgan knows that Jake is leaving before the media do. After the past two seasons, with the reactions that he’s seen from _ everyone, _ he knows Jake doesn’t have much time left. So of course the last game Jake, and the rest of the Leafs, plays is one that goes south. Because, of course. It just wouldn’t suit the hockey gods if people weren’t criticising Jake Gardiner. 

He’s had time to prepare himself—a good four months, really. 

Over the summer, he doesn’t think about Jake. He doesn’t think about what’s happening down in Minnesota, in Minneapolis. 

They’ve known each other for six years, been together half that time. Even then, back when they met and he was nineteen, he’s never felt this distant and far away from Jake. They’ve been together for three years now, two years and change if you want to get specific, but Morgan’s never been to Minneapolis. Jake has never been to Vancouver. 

Jake has never met Maggie. He’s never met any of his family nor his friends. He hasn’t seen the coasts of BC outside the hotel perimeter. He hasn’t explored the city, the province, in all its unbidden beauty—the looming stature of the redwoods and majestic pines, the smell of fresh wild flowers blooming in the summer, the refreshing downpour following a wave of humidity, the green, green, greenness of nature. 

And Morgan has never met Jake’s mom. Hasn’t been able to push further into the Gardiners’ family dynamic further than during the Gardiner Classic. He hasn’t seen Jake’s childhood home, where there was bound to be posters of hockey players plastered on every corner of the walls. He wants to know the spots in Minneapolis that make Jake smile from nostalgia, that bittersweet feeling, find new spots to make their own. 

Even though they’ve done that in Toronto, made a home for themselves, Morgan wants more. He wants more than he deserves to have. 

So, maybe that’s why Jake had to leave. Morgan knew, _ has _ known for four months, and he still isn’t ready. 

His heart doesn’t sink when he reads the news on September 6th, because Jake’s told him. But it hurts. It hurts because Morgan can’t keep him. 

Training camp starts and there’s a hole somewhere in his chest. Being back in Toronto without Jake is… difficult. There’s the loneliness that creeps through the silence, no matter how much Jake manages to text or call him. It feels wrong to be alone in their condo, sitting at their breakfast counter and staring into the living room where the stupid stuffed puma is still thrown somewhere in the corner from the time Jake cleaned the living room. Morgan’s done an entire run through of the place, but he couldn’t stand to move the things Jake last touched.

“Keep him,” Jake had said over facetime when Morgan asked about the puma, that familiar crooked smile on his face. 

“Psh, yeah, like I’d let you take Uma,” Morgan had retorted back, trying to keep a semblance of normality. But he remembers, his insides had been twisting, heart panging. He wanted to reach through the screen and pull Jake to the other side, back to Toronto, where he belongs. 

Eventually, Morgan gets used to living by himself. He gets by on takeout from outrageously priced restaurants that fit his diet plan, tries to find a meal delivery service that would fit him, and cleans up after himself. It isn’t like he’s hopeless at living alone, he knows the basics and he’s mature enough. He’s twenty-five. He’s twenty-five… 

But even if Morgan’s able to manage the practical parts of living alone, he hasn’t been able to keep his mental side ticking. He wants so bad to lie next to Jake, sapping up the warmth that radiates from his body. He misses being able to complain without abandon to Jake, who would only smile indulgently and shut him up with a kiss. 

Sometimes, he wonders if Jake is doing okay, if he’s doing better now that he’s away from Morgan and Toronto. Honestly, Morgan’s just lying to himself. He knows that Jake is doing better, seeing how much better Carolina treats him. His season is going great, scoring goals and assisting left and right, barely making any defensive mistakes. 

“I miss you,” Morgan would say, averting his gaze. 

“Me too,” Jake would reply back, staring earnestly with those baby blues. 

Then Morgan would wonder if he was lying, if they had truly run out of luck in their relationship. 

“Got that Leafs and Canes game circled. December twenty-third, right before Christmas,” Jake would mention. 

And Morgan would smile. Because it’s still Jake that he loves. It’s still Jake that loves him.

**Author's Note:**

> i totally forgot how i ended fics, sigh
> 
> thank you for reading! if you liked this fic, leave a kudos. and if you really liked it, leave a comment down below. tell all your friends and come yell with me on tumblr @mitcheemarns
> 
> time to go watch vball lmao


End file.
